What to Do When Your Ex Coaches Your Child to Lie in a Custody Case

 Posted on December 13, 2025 in Child Custody

Most parents would agree that hardly anything is more painful than divorce, even when it’s necessary. But if you find out your ex-partner is manipulating your child to lie during a custody dispute, things can go from bad to worse.

When a parent coaches a child to give false testimony or make false accusations, it undermines the entire court process. These tactics appear in high-conflict custody cases where one parent will do anything to win. If you suspect your ex is coaching your child to lie, you need to act quickly.

Past studies by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research estimate that around 40 percent of divorces involve minor children. If you are getting divorced in 2026 and you share young children with your ex, our Rock County custody lawyer has the tools available to make sure coached or dishonest testimony doesn’t damage your relationship with your child.

How Can You Tell If Your Child Is Being Coached in a Custody Case?

Children who have been coached often show warning signs. They repeat adult language or legal terminology that children would not naturally use. Their stories may sound rehearsed or change depending on which parent they are with.

Some children become anxious or uncomfortable when asked to explain their statements. This is because they are repeating someone else's words rather than sharing their own experiences. Pay attention if your child suddenly refuses contact with you after spending time with your ex.

What Should You Do If You Suspect Your Ex is Telling Your Child to Lie?

If you are worried your child’s other parent is trying to turn your child against you, you need to take careful notes. For example:

• Keep detailed records of conversations with your child, including dates, times, and exactly what was said. 

• Save all text messages, emails, and voicemails from your ex.

• Record the specific language your child uses and note when it changes or doesn’t make sense.

• If your child accuses you to your face, write down the details immediately, including any inconsistencies or adult phrases they use.

Wisconsin courts rely heavily on evidence. Documentation strengthens your position when you need to prove your child was coached.

But do not confront your child about the coaching or put them in a position where they feel they need to choose sides. This only increases their stress and can backfire in court. Instead, do your best to provide a loving, stable relationship where your child feels safe being honest. Never make negative comments about your ex in front of your child.

How Can the Court Address Parental Coaching?

Under Wisconsin Statutes Section 767.41, courts must consider each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent. A parent who coaches a child to lie is actively undermining that relationship. This can result in reduced placement time or even a change in custody.

Rock County judges can order a guardian ad litem to investigate allegations of coaching and report findings to the court. The court can also appoint a therapist to work with your child and provide expert testimony about whether coaching has occurred.

In serious cases, the court can:

• Modify placement schedules

• Require supervised exchanges

• Order the coaching parent to pay the other parent’s attorney fees as a sanction for their misconduct. 

Wisconsin courts prioritize the best interests of the child. Coaching behavior shows that a parent is willing to harm the child to win a legal battle.

How Should I Respond to False Allegations in a Custody Case?

False allegations made by coached children can be very upsetting. This is especially true of accusations of abuse or neglect. 

Take these allegations seriously, even if you know they are false. Cooperate fully with any investigations by child protective services or law enforcement. If you can find evidence that disproves the allegations, keep it and share it with your attorney. 

Your attorney can challenge the allegations in court and present evidence of coaching to explain why your child made false statements.

Contact a Rock County Divorce Attorney

If your ex is coaching your child to lie in your custody case, you need an aggressive lawyer now. As a Madison, WI divorce lawyer focusing on high-conflict custody disputes, John T. Fields & Associates, LLC fights for parents whose rights are undermined. Call 608-729-3590 to discuss your case.